Wednesday, November 10, 2010

My theory on running.

Every so often my dear husband will suggest that I get up at the unlawful hour of morning (read before 5:00 AM) and go running with him.

Running, you know that activity that involves moving ones legs rather fast and in a forward motion.

Sadly, my dear husband, even after 16 years of marriage, just doesn't get me. You would think after this many years of wedded bliss he would know.

In high school, I played sports. Softball and volleyball to be specific. Guess what, I was always the slowest runner on the team. That's when I weighed 105 lbs. and had not yet birthed any babies. Now, years later, more poundage and a few births later - I'm still slow.

My theory is, I don't run because I've got my great-grandma's legs. I remember my great-grandma on my momma's side. She always fixed me bacon and pink-eye purple hull peas. I also remember that we called her Big Grandma, one because she was the oldest and to differentiate her from her daughter, whom I affectionately called Little Grandma. And, secondly, well, she was big. I don't mean big as in way overweight big. I mean tall and sturdy big.

Actually one of the main characteristics I remember about her was how 'sturdy' her legs were. I would get a glimpse of said legs occasionally during the winter when she would back up to the fireplace, hike the back side of her dress up and 'warm her buns'. Can I add she was also a character?

That being said, the one trait that I am known to have inherited from her, are her legs. Yep, I have a sturdy understanding as my mom likes to joke. See, Mom can because she got Little Grandma's dainty limbs. You can actually see my mom's ankle bones. And mine? Well, they seemed to have disappeared around 1997.

As a matter of fact, Little Grandma came to my house the other day. She will be 80 years old next week. Arthritis has become an issue for her, it and heart issues have caused her ankles to swell. When she came over the other day she was telling me how painful and swollen her one ankle was. So, I looked at it and agreed that it did indeed look painful and swollen. To which Grandma replied, "Yes, when I saw how swollen it was I thought, 'My ankle may actually be bigger than Michelle's.'" Then she laughed.

Even my own Grandma thinks my legs are fat.

So, with that my theory is my legs were not born to run. And as a word of caution, if you do ever see my running, you might want to start running too. 'Cause I will trip you, to let whatever is chasing me, catch you first.

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