Thursday, July 2, 2009

Birthdays, Rivers, Panic Attacks & Husbands












Do I get an award for the longest, weirdest post title? I didn't think so, but I have a lot to say in this post. My suggestion is to sit back, grab a cold one and enjoy.

Let me start by saying today Ralph took off and we spent the day together as a family. We did something that I personally have not done in my 35 years here on this Earth. We went tubing down the Chipola River.

Now before you judge, just realize that I was raised in a very cautious household. Sorry, if that offends you Mom, but you know it's true. Dad was not a swimmer, so we didn't do things like that.

We always try to do something fun for our girls birthdays. Ralph wanted to do something different for Laney's this year. Tomorrow is Laney's 8th birthday and it will be filled with Fourth of July fun that our church puts on every year.

We tell her that she gets fireworks for her birthday. She likes that story. She also likes the fact that we had two names picked out for her. I liked Laney, but if she had been born on the Fourth, her name would have been Liberty, and we would have called her Libby. Ralph was not crazy about that one, and said ONLY if she was born on the Fourth would she be named that.

So today we took our family tubing down the Chipola River, celebrating her birthday a day early. It was great.

I can say that now that my legs are on dry land.

You see the older I have gotten, apparently the more trouble I have being in areas where I cannot see what is around or under me. Today, I couldn't see the bottom of the river, and I flipped out - a little.

Actually, it was quiet a bit.

Granted there was not any screaming or fit throwing, but there was a little hyperventilating and uncontrollable shaking going on.

It started when I could not see under me. I tried valiantly to hide my shaking from the girls, but they saw. Then they asked, "Mommy what's wrong." To which I calmly replied, "Nothing girls. Mommy is just having an anxiety attack." That answered suited them and they kept floating.

My dear husband on the other hand did not act so nonchalant. In fact, he made his way toward me and reassured me that everything was ok, and that he would take care of me.

I believed him.

Because I believed him, and his desires and ability to keep me safe, it calmed me. You see, I knew that my fear was irrational. I knew that there was no reason to worry, but my body betrayed me and my mind raced. He didn't over react and he did not laugh at me. He reassured me and steadied me.

We enjoyed floating and swinging on rope swings and swimming in the river. Heck, we even got to see our next door neighbor float by with her girls and a bunch of teenagers.

It was a good day celebrating Laney on the river - despite my panic attack.

I look forward to going again, soon.

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