Saturday, May 30, 2009

A letter

December 29, 1997

Hello little one! I call you this because for one you are very tiny, and two, I have no idea if you are a boy or a girl. But that doesn't matter now to me or your Dad. Just knowing that you are growing and forming is enough for us now. I thought today for the first time that you have moved. There was just a slight flutter in my stomach, one I have never felt before. And, I must say I was quite excited. It truly amazes and astounds me that God has allowed me the privilege to have you as a child. You are a product of the strong love and commitment that your father and I feel for one another.

I am writing this letter to you so that you will know you were loved and wanted from the very beginning. And, also to let you know some things I feel for sure as a parent I will fail to tell you. Being the oldest child will not be easy for you, but God put you in that spot for a reason. You will have a tough row to hoe, but you will have strong faith and character because of it. Life will not be easy and it will not always be fair, but when you face difficulties and over come them, you can then say you have lived life. But, you must always remember that God is your source of strength. He is your rock to lean and build upon. I thank Him for giving me you. My
prayer is that I do not lot either Him or you down. Things will not always be easy for us and I know we will not always see eye to eye. But as long as you always let Christ lead your life - know that you are not a failure in my eyes.

I love you little one. Dad and I are so excited you are now a part of our lives!

Love Always,

The other night Ralph asked me to get some papers out of our fire safety box. As I was opening I saw the little green box. The one that holds the plaster mold of my little boys feet and hands. It holds a lock of his hair. It holds the few pictures we have of him. It also held this letter.

This letter was written 5 months before our little boy was born into this world, and in a matter of minutes he was seeing Jesus face to face. As I reflect on the words of it, I cannot help but thank God for the words He gave me. God has been faithful. He has been my source of strength. He has been my refuge. He has a plan, and His ways are so much higher than my own.

I am thankful.


Ralph Yoder said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ralph Yoder said...

Little Ralph was fortunate to have you as his Mother. And I am honored to be on this journey with you. You are a blessing to me, our family, and to many others.

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

A beautiful letter from a beautiful mother's heart. I am stopping by after sifting through the comments on MckMama's blog. Yours jumped out at me, because I too lost a son to Potter's Syndrome (my son Thomas, who was mentioned in MckMama's post.) My sweet boy went home to heaven in July 1998. It blessed me to think of our boys dancing in heaven...or playing ball...or giggling little boy giggles. I am so sorry we had to meet this way, but so grateful for God's sufficient grace that He gave us the gift of our children, and carries us through each day.

In His Grace,
Kelly Gerken
Sufficient Grace Ministries