Saturday, May 30, 2009

A letter

December 29, 1997

Hello little one! I call you this because for one you are very tiny, and two, I have no idea if you are a boy or a girl. But that doesn't matter now to me or your Dad. Just knowing that you are growing and forming is enough for us now. I thought today for the first time that you have moved. There was just a slight flutter in my stomach, one I have never felt before. And, I must say I was quite excited. It truly amazes and astounds me that God has allowed me the privilege to have you as a child. You are a product of the strong love and commitment that your father and I feel for one another.

I am writing this letter to you so that you will know you were loved and wanted from the very beginning. And, also to let you know some things I feel for sure as a parent I will fail to tell you. Being the oldest child will not be easy for you, but God put you in that spot for a reason. You will have a tough row to hoe, but you will have strong faith and character because of it. Life will not be easy and it will not always be fair, but when you face difficulties and over come them, you can then say you have lived life. But, you must always remember that God is your source of strength. He is your rock to lean and build upon. I thank Him for giving me you. My
prayer is that I do not lot either Him or you down. Things will not always be easy for us and I know we will not always see eye to eye. But as long as you always let Christ lead your life - know that you are not a failure in my eyes.

I love you little one. Dad and I are so excited you are now a part of our lives!

Love Always,

The other night Ralph asked me to get some papers out of our fire safety box. As I was opening I saw the little green box. The one that holds the plaster mold of my little boys feet and hands. It holds a lock of his hair. It holds the few pictures we have of him. It also held this letter.

This letter was written 5 months before our little boy was born into this world, and in a matter of minutes he was seeing Jesus face to face. As I reflect on the words of it, I cannot help but thank God for the words He gave me. God has been faithful. He has been my source of strength. He has been my refuge. He has a plan, and His ways are so much higher than my own.

I am thankful.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

History Buff

Ok, I admit it, I am a history nerd. I love reading, watching, learning anything about history. Especially American History. I actually majored in history and was going to be a history teacher. Then I got married, and well, life got in the way of education.

So, Ralph and I went to New York City in May of 2007. While we were there we wanted to catch a Broadway play or musical. Ralph was definitely wanting to watch a play as opposed to a musical. I did not care what we went to as long as it was on Broadway!

The play that Ralph chose was Frost/Nixon. It was political, so of course it appealed to him! It was amazing. Even though I was about 3 years old when the actual interviews happened, the story is very interesting. Of course the actors were superb.

Tonight I am sitting with my dear husband watching the film version of the story. Same story, still amazing and it completely draws me in. Same main characters were played in the play by the ones in the movie. Love it! Love sharing it with my husband, and glad he picked it.

Saturday, May 23, 2009


I did not think that this year would be hard. Of course I think that every year. I mean, how can I miss someone that I only knew of for 8 1/2 months and met for 30 short minutes.
I am finding that I still do miss him. There is a hole. There is someone missing in our family.
Then I saw the following video today, and completely broke down. Tears have been steady flowing this afternoon. I know this week will have it's ups and downs. Next Sunday will mark another year.
And I still remember.....

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

“It Happened in Italy” by Elizabeth Bettina

The premise of this book is the author’s discovery of how in the middle of what was the world’s worst atrocity committed against Jews, there was a place that offered hope. In the book Ms. Bettina discovers that the town of Campagna, Italy had an interment camp that held Jews, but this camp was much different than those in Germany. The Jewish people were allowed to live.
This book very much intrigued me when I read the back cover. I had not heard much about World War II until I got into college and took a class about what happened to the Jewish people. I was shocked. So, when I read that this book was about people who had survived the war, because of the kindness of those in small towns in Italy, I wanted to read more. Unfortunately this book left me wanting more. I was disappointed that there was not more detail of the stories of the survivors. It was more about the author’s discovery of the survivor’s stories and the adventure of connecting the survivors back to Italy. The writing was a little disjointed and hard to follow.
This is such an important story to share. That even in bad times, there were good people.

Monday, May 18, 2009

You have got to be kidding me.

I am still shaking my head, as to what in the world my oldest daughter was thinking tonight. When I caught her doing what she was doing, my first thought was, "You have got to be kidding me."
You see, this evening I was going through the house emptying garbage cans as tomorrow is garbage pick up. Ralph and I were going to go for a walk and roll the big garbage can out to the road.
Madison was in her bathroom taking a shower. As, I walk in the bathroom, it sounds like she is talking to herself. I don't think much of it. Then she keeps talking and I keep trying to understand what she is saying.
Finally I pull the shower curtain back to see what she is doing. As I do, I realize she has something in her hand.
Granted she had it sealed in a ziplock bag, but my child was playing her Nintendo DS in the shower.
Good grief.
You have got to be kidding me!
I then take it away from her, after I asked her what in the world was she thinking and doing! I let her finish her shower, and when she got out she came and asked what her punishment was. She knew she had not made the wisest choice. She tried to defend herself by telling me that she had tested it before she got in the shower, to make sure the bag didn't leak. Um, yeah, that's not going to help you any honey.
Needless to say she won't have the shower option with her DS anymore, or any option for that matter in the next week. Her DS has been taken away for a week.
Hopefully another lesson learned.
No showering and Nintendo playing simultaneously.

Funny Monday

Just saw this spoof about the economy. So, for those who need a good chuckle this Monday morning - enjoy.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

When kids are bored in the country.....

They make their own fun.....
What is this you may be asking? This is the cow chute, used to load cows onto big semis.
Ah, but not for my kids. My kids look at this as a new adventure.

Can you just hear Madison saying, "Get ready to jump!"

OK, Morgan it is your turn.

Morgan - catching some air.

It's all fun and games, until, lighting strikes to closely followed by a loud clap of thunder. Then the game is over and it is time to head inside!

I don't even want to know what the cows "left behind" (insert your own joke here) that the girls were having their fun in. They were content and laughing. And of course missing Laney, she had a more cultured evening with friends. She got to go to a play.
That is what my kids do in the country for fun!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

Well, today has been an interesting Mother's Day. 2 of my girls had to stay home from church today, due to the fact that they are running fevers with sore throats. My wonderful husband stayed home with them, so I could volunteer at church. While he was home he made lunch, emptied the dishwasher and picked up the kitchen. That is the best present!
This afternoon I was able to spend some time with my mom. We talked small town politics and she showed Laney a picture of me when I was about 4 or 5. It was taken at our old church during a Christmas play. I was dressed as an angel. Probably the only time in my life I could claim to be one.My dad's hair was past his eyes, he was wearing a white belt. Mom had on a minidress. They were styling. So much so that their granddaughter did not recognize them!
Ah, memories.
My thoughts today have lingered in the past. I have been thinking of those who have lost their mothers. I have also been thinking of those ladies who have lost children. Mother's Day brings different emotions and thoughts for all of us. Good, bad and ugly.
Tonight, I am thankful for my family of origin and the family Ralph and I are making.

Friday, May 8, 2009


Deflated, like a balloon with all the air let out.
That describes me...tonight.
Today started out with lots of air. I took the girls to school, and had breakfast with them. It was "Muffin's for Mom" day. I had a great time eating with them. I really didn't want to go, but Ralph encouraged me to. So, I did, and I am glad.
Then off to check on a few things for UpStreet, then grocery shopping. Check, check.
Balloon is still floating.
Then to Marianna to do a little Mother's Day shopping. Check.
On the way I called a friend. I am glad I did. We talked and shared. I love this friend for her honesty, her willingness to be vulnerable, and her desire to grow.
Balloon still up.
Then I have a lunch date planned with my husband. I was late. He didn't complain. Balloon still floating, although not quiet as high.
We start discussing house plans. Things that will need to be changed, plans that will need to be rearranged.
Balloon starts to lose a little air.
Head home, to pick the girls up from school. They are in interesting moods. I have one who is very clingy and whiny when she is sick. She gets in the van almost crying.
A little more air is let out of the balloon.
We get home, and there is the craziness that is our typical afternoon. Plus, one child who has a temperature of almost 101.
A lot of air is let out of my balloon.
She wants me to just hold her, so she can whine and generally complain. It just makes her feel better. I oblige. Isn't that what mothers are for?
By the time my dear husband has gotten home from his long day of work, I am deflated. Like the balloon that was left at the party. That no one wants. That's ready for trash pick up.
It seems like for every breath that was used to inflate today, there was something there letting the air out. Here is the thing though, I was concentrating on what was letting the air out, instead of what was inflating. Hmmmm, maybe that should be the other way around.
What's inflating (i.e. lifting) me (you) up, instead of tearing me (you) down?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

On a hot spring day......

You take the kids to the creek and let them splash and play. It's a good remedy when all are grumpy, even Ralph.