Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Life is Messy

Ok, this week I have a whole lot of stuff rolling around in my head.  There seems to be a process that God is wanting me to go through.  To be honest, I don't want to go.  I will go, but I don't want to.  Because, here is the thing, life is messy.  When you are dealing with others, it gets messy.  People disappoint.  People die.  People move.  People hurt.  Dealing with people is messy.  Is it worth the mess?  C.S. Lewis explains it better than I can on why it is worth the mess, the pain, the loss.  

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."   C.S. Lewis - "The Four Loves"

Because without all those things we are left hollow, selfish shells.  I will choose to love, to let go, to hurt and be hurt.  I will not avoid pain, I will embrace it.  Because I choose to learn from these experiences.  I choose to love through these experiences.  I will choose the path God has for me.

Ok, I feel better now.

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