Saturday, May 10, 2008

I have a confession.....

I have a confession.  I do not like Mother's Day.  I don't like be told when I should celebrate my mother, or telling my kids they have to celebrate me.  Maybe it stems from my first Mother's Day as a mom. I had buried my baby almost one year earlier, and had also just suffered a miscarriage. Being a mother, but not having a child kind of puts you in a weird place.  
Every May is hard, I admit it.  It starts with Mother's Day and then ends with May 31.  This year I would have a son that would be 10 on May 31.  A son....the firstborn, the one to carry on his father's name.  No, he is the one that we buried.  The one who we said goodbye too almost in the same breath as hello.  
So, I don't like Mother's Day, the official holiday.  I do love my girls dearly.  I love when they give me the hugs that almost knock me over, just because.  I love when they tell me they love me, just because.  I love when I catch them treating each other with kindness.  Each day I am able to be their mother is special to me.  I don't need Hallmark to remind me or them of that.  
That is my confession, what is yours?

1 comment:

Jill Barlow said...

I meant to call you on Mother's Day, but you'd already told me how you felt. I had a good day up until I went to visit my parents. I will be praying for you about this month. Look at it this way... you've only got 16 days and it'll be over! I love you!!