Sunday, December 30, 2007

Blur........

Blur....... that describes what this past week has been. The holidays and visiting family was great, except for the throwing up part. I don't remember much of Christmas Day because I was to busy hugging the toilet. Thank God it only lasted 24 hours. My wonderful husband took care of the kids, while my mom helped take care of me. Then Madison got it, then Laney. We are hoping and praying that Morgan and Ralph remain throw up free!
Ralph and I then came home to boxes - we are boxing up our life here in Leesburg. Our lives are neatly packed and taped up. Adventure is around the corner, or at least that is what I am telling myself. I have stayed so busy packing the past few days that I have not allowed myself too much time to think. Today, I had time to think. This evening I am not in a good place. Right decisions, right moves, right choices do not always equal easy. This is hard. It's ok, but it's hard.
I wish today had been a blur.....maybe then I would not be in such a funk.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Emotions

Well, I will admit the last few days have been hard. I am so ready for this move, but I was not prepared for the grieving I will have to go through. Saying goodbye on Sunday to people we were just getting to know was more difficult than I imagined. I kept saying "I am good at leaving, not saying goodbye."
So, there are a thousand thoughts and a thousand emotions steam rolling through my head. I am so happy to be moving back to Florida. In the same breath I am so sad to be leaving Georgia. It hit me today that there will be a grieving process with this move, thanks to a conversation with a dear friend. She is so wise and encouraging, even when she has a more unbearable grief to bear right now. I guess for me, the conversations with her is what I will miss most.
Wow, okay, I have to stop now the floodgate is opening.....

Monday, December 10, 2007

Change

One of the things that I am certain about in my life is change. Ralph has taught me so much on how to handle change with courage and strength. And being married to him, I am fairly confident our life will be full of many changes.
We are about to embark on a big change for us. We will be moving the first of January to Florida. Back to our home town. This move is one that we have thought about for a while, but now it's the right time and with the right job. Our whole family is excited, to be near extended family and in the country. We are also sad. Sad for the people that we have become close to here, and the friendships that have developed.
I told our girls that it was ok to feel both, happy and sad. When we told them they all started crying and then laughing. I am sure as the weeks go on, and the move actually happens, they will feel many emotions. Then they will get settled into our new home and new schools and new church. Then the change won't seem to have been that hard. Until time for the next change....

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Blown Away

This weekend I had the privilege of taking my two oldest daughter to Ballet Theater South's production of "Peter Pan". For those who know me well, you know that ballet is not quite my cup of tea. I would much rather sit through a college football game or any type of baseball game. My girls wanted to go and I wanted to go and support a wonderful family that was very involved in the production.
This family is special in so many ways to me and my family. Their oldest daughter died in October, very unexpectedly. She was to have been a "Lost Boy" in this production. Then their next oldest daughter Emma was in it, as the"Sad Little Indian".
This is the part where I was totally blown away. Emma totally blew me away with the way she was able smile and do her part through out the WHOLE production. I cannot fathom what emotions or thoughts could have been going through her mind knowing her sister and best friend was supposed to be on stage also. I don't know if she got all the dance steps right, or cues. I do know that she had a beautiful expression the whole time she was on stage. She radiated.
Thank you Emma for reminding me to smile.